Hey guys, it's your girl Precious Odunaiya and welcome back to Precious' Not So Secret Diaryyyyyyyy. It's been a while since I last posted, being busy with revision, but I feel like this is a very important blog that I should get out now since people have started university (again).
A great difference about university as opposed to any previous stage in your life is that it's something you are taking on by yourself and every experience is typically a new one. For many people's mental health, university can be a very 'make or break' thing. But to be honest, I believe our mental health is a spectrum so even though we may feel *good* overall, there will be times where we are tipping towards the negative side of the spectrum. This blog will just talk about things can affect the mental health of university students and things you can do to help yourself get through things. I do not wish to reduce anyone's experience and have tried to tread this path in a way that is educated and careful.
Education
Imposter syndrome
I was saddened to find out in term 2 that a lot of my friends and peers were depressed in the beginning of the year. One major thing they said they was struggling with was imposter syndrome.
hbr.org says, "Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. 'Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence."
Going to an academic institution where people have different abilities, it is very easy for comparison within ourselves and between others to arise. I personally feel like this is a lot worse between students in grammar schools and Russel group universities. This is because your validity as a student is often centred around your academic achievements alone by yourself and others.
This is made worse by the complexity of university teachings and level of reading. With its unique jargon and long-winded sentences, it's very easy for the English language to become 0s and 1s that are floating around in your mind.
Without reducing anyone's experience and struggle, here are some important things that we should assure ourselves of and understand if we ever find ourselves in this position:
- I think university is an important place to realise that academically, physically, mentally, etc people peak differently. In first year or even the years after that, you are re-arranging yourself, unlearning, learning new things, learning how to navigate yourself in all aspects of life and we all do this at different paces and in different ways. For some people, they have been working away from the second they came out of the womb and even in the summer before university. For others they've never been in an environment where others work harder than them or academically push them and it is something they have to face in university. What I am saying is that you are worthy of your position otherwise you wouldn't have got it, and with that being said you will get there, to that point where you are thriving and exuding the excellence you have always possessed. Time allows anxiety and uncertainty to roam but time is also what will get you to your destination.
Struggling with your degree
Most people will agree with me when I say that the jump from A levels and university is quite shocking. Whilst in year 13, you may have started to exert academic independence and drive, there was still an element of guidance from your school and academic figures there to hold you accountable academically. Whereas, in university, you are not given the luxury of being in constant contact with your teachers and if you are falling behind you only really have yourself to help get back on track. For example, I am a law student and when I tell you the reading is ALOT. Luckily, we are given reading weeks every now and then to catch up but it doesn't necessarily relieve anything- there is no limit to reading. This also doesn't help if you are struggling with subjects thus meaning you are working at a slower pace.
Even at that note, not all students work the same and at the same pace. Some need extra time and some just need to go over a subject more closely with their tutor the second time. When exams and essays are due, this can culminate in an overwhelming feeling of stress and inadequacy. Please understand you're not alone in your experiences and though it may not look like it at the time, you will thrive.
Here are some things you can do to help yourself:
- Express your concerns and experience(s) to your tutor. In university you will have a tutor that you will meet a few times during the year and this is the person who will closely work with you to help you navigate your journey in university (they should be tutors of your subject). One thing that causes us stress is not knowing what to do and this is why it is important to talk to people in your university. Your tutor, for example, will be able to direct you to where you need to go to get extra time in exams or will email your tutors to provide you with extra help. Sometimes, it's just nice to be reassured by another person who we know actually understands.
- Plan. Plan. Plan. Sometimes we are not struggling with our subjects but we just haven't given ourselves enough time to learn it and become familiar with it. In university you are faced with the challenge of juggling your academics, work experience and social life. By organising your time and prioritising the right things this will be easier. I think FOMO makes us ditch studying to socialise but guys, as my mum always says, there is time for everything. When it comes to socialisation, time is not running away from you even though it looks like this is an event you can not miss.
- Get a study buddy. Find someone who studies your subjects and make them your study buddy. They can serve as a motivating force to revise, help hold you accountable academically and help you with any queries you have.
- Get a mentor. I would suggest finding someone who is in at least one year above you who studies your subject who can provide studying tips and share their experiences with you
- Do the optional exams!! LOOOOOOL guys please do not miss the optional exams, even if you are not bothered, they are a good way to learn. For Law, we hardly had essays and the exams are optional if you don't want to become a solicitor so they were vital avenues for feedback.
- Get a medical report. If you struggle to work like others and in the same settings due to your mental health, learning disabilities, etc please get a doctor's note explaining this and why you may need lenience, changes, etc. Word of mouth does not carry much weight because of how much protocol university has.
- Your wellbeing officers. If you are one of these people, the people you would go to, to get things like extra time is your wellbeing officers. These people will assess you and look at your doctor's note and make changes accordingly.
Career progression
Finding work experience or what you want to do as a career can be very exhausting especially since things are so competitive now. When you do not know what you want to do too, it can make everything else you're doing seem futile.
Here are some things you can do to help yourself:
- Start casually researching. this will allow your experience to be more easeful when application time approaches and equip you. Moreover, for those who do not know what they want to do, when the time comes to start making decisions, you will be in a better place to make them and not miss opportunities because you are still deliberating what you want to do. For Law, commercial awareness is so important and if you were to get a headstart that would put you in a great place when it comes to applications.
- Find out what older students did. attend Q&A sessions run by older students and alumnis, connect with older students and probe them on what path they took and what is the best thing to do to navigate yourself on your career path. Knowing in advance is so key because when you know want to start doing stuff it may be that it's not necessarily too late but you have to work a little harder
- Go to fairs and presentations. This can help raise your aspirations, help you discover jobs you didn't know existed and connect you with employers, employees and people in the same boat as you
- Join programmes: programmes like Rare and SEO are so helpful in providing employment opportunities for a plethora of employment fields. I joined Rare last year and got onto the the Rare Foundations: Law programme and from there got onto Rare: Articles. They have plugged me so much that I have not applied for anything outside of this. (Maybe one or two things)
Relationships
I can't lie, I am lowkey tired of talking about relationships in university and have done a lot of videos exploring this so I'm just going to provide tips when dealing with this.
- Keep in constant contact with family and/or friends. Many of us do not realise that we have friends and family who genuinely do want cater to us and be there to lift our spirits in any way that they can. These people do not find your issues burdensome and want to be a source of advice and consolation. They can only do as much as you allow them, however, and this is why we should try not to bottle ourselves up. Even on this note, when we bottle things up, tension builds up and affects us both physically and mentally. Even if you feel like they can not provide the help you need, just having someone who you love to talk to is just so ahhhhh, i can't even describe it. <3 Like sometimes I call my family just to see their faces and it does a lot. I remember in February I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and my mum said book a ticket for tomorrow morning, pack your load and commot, and I went on holiday with my family for like a week and a half.
- Greet interaction/making friends with open arms
- Get a mentor. In 2nd term I got a mentor who graduated from the university that I am at. This helped so much and was very handy because this person knew first hand the dynamics of Warwick and had similar experiences to me
- Do not try to be friends with everyone! In the beginning of university, it is very typical to want to be friends with everyone in the name of fun times and adventure but you will find yourself sharing your energy with too many people and the wrong people. You may also be in a place where you have loyalties with too many people.Which goes into my next point:
- Make and effort with those who make an effort with you. A typical thing I saw in first year was that people devoted themselves to too many people, putting so much effort into relationships but these people never reciprocated it. This also meant that instead of cultivating deeper connections in platonic friendships, they just went through the motions. Another thing I would say too is that in first year people tend to stay in relationships they shouldn't because of 'history' or having that friendship group. It's hard to leave situations like that but your future self will thank you I promise you. It's a waste of time, space and *memories*.
Money
Upon joining university, you will realise that it is very expensive and there are many big and consistent costs you will have to pay as a student. For some people they are able to financially thrive and survive thanks to SFE, grants, parents, etc whilst others are not so fortunate.
Some things you can do:
- Apply for scholarships, grants and bursaries from your university and other programmes
- Speak to your mentor/tutor and express your issues/concerns: they will be able to direct you to places where you can find adequate help
- Seek help when it comes to budgeting: you can find someone to help you personally, research resources or attend events in university that discuss how to budget
- Apply for a job: if you can not find any other suitable solution you could get a job. However, I would say, I am personally against students getting a retail or demanding job. Not only should studying be your priority but you will naturally lose a lot of time that could go towards socialising and overall experiences. Moreover, with how demanding university is, having time for downtime is so important. If you can, apply for flexible jobs like working at a cafe, library, etc at university or as an ambassador- the pay is really good and you can find jobs at unitemps.com. At this point,that company needs to start paying me the way I'm doing up ambassador for them lol.
- Do not feel pressured to spend money: at university you will find that people will have different financial experiences. Moretimes, you will be the only person who will know what your finances can handle and you will be faced with times where you have to make the decision not to spend it. The shame people feel when they can't spend money like their friends with their friends is so dangerous and causes people to go in over their head. I assure you, your real friends will understand what you can or can not do and will meet you will understanding. For those who need to hear this: pls oooo, it doesnt matter if you have a canada goose jacket if you're eating indomie for brekafast and tea for dinner.
Religion
Keeping your faith in university is *funny* because whilst university is a great place to worship God on your own in a more relatable way, it is also a place where your faith can begin to disintegrate. Oftentimes this can leave us feeling bad and condemn ourselves.
I think this issue is bigger than mental health and would need a much more wider and introspective talk on religion, our relationship with God, etc but what I would say is:
- Do not beat yourself up. As humans we are not perfect and there will be times when we mess up, God knows and understands that. He loves us with all our imperfections. The problem now arises with how deal with it. Many people miss their step and spiral into a lifestyle of self condemnation and feelings of unworthiness. We need to understand that our experiences do not make us a bad person, morality has 'no play' in our walk with God, and that everybody goes through the same thing.
Romans 8:38-39 says: 'For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.'
Being tethered by human rationale and emotions, it is natural to think that if we do something *wrong* that the other person will *hate* us for it but God does not work this way. He's waiting and looking for you, wherever you are.
- Do not keep things to yourself. Our imagination can often be our biggest enemy which causes us to spiral into a feeling of unworthiness and speaking to others can give us the reassurance we need to quell it
- Join a fellowship & get an accountability partner to encourage your faith walk and advice you on the best ways to be in fellowship with God
OVERALL TIPS
Do not keep things to yourself. Talk Talk Talk!!
Utilise your Wellbeing services. Your wellbeing team will also offer things like classes or resources to help your concentration span, focus, help you deal with your mental health, etc
Remember your experiences and emotions are valid and you have not failed. Keep going!
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