As the 2021/2022 application cycle is coming to and end, and a new one is beginning in a few months, I thought it would be useful to share something important I learnt last year.
But before I go on, loool look at this 14-sec clip of me practising for one of my interviews in 2020. I look cute asl.
From the first year of university, I have always tried to be productive and achieve something, career wise. In first year, this did not require too much from me as I was part of programmes like Rare Foundations: Law and Rare: Articles which meant that I attended over like twenty five insight days and law firm sessions without having to make (additional) applications. Coming into university, I had a linear and narrow idea of what I wanted my career path to look like and from second year, I did everything I could to manifest this. This, however, meant that I developed an exhausting and self-destructive relationship with my career goals and applications. Tethered to these linear career goals, from second year, I felt like time was running out and I had to apply to everything. But we will get to that in a second.
As some of you may know, I have secured a summer legal internship and a 3-year grad job. Without down-playing my achievements, many people do not realise that it took me a very long and tough time to get to where I am. Since making applications in second year, I have probably received up to may 60 application rejections: some from the initial application stage or after the final interview. Can you believe, one time, I got a rejection on my birthday and had to act like nothing had happened??????
As I was saying, from second year, I felt like time was running away from me in achieving certain career goals at a specific time. For example:
• First year> insight programme
• Second year> vacation scheme-turned-training contract
• Third year> focus on my degree & mini soft life
• Post-graduation: sponsored LPC (law school)
As a result, my plan was to apply to every single law firm I knew of and apply to them multiple times within the application cycle. So, for example, I would apply for a winter internship, as well as the spring and summer internship. It got to the point where if I saw an application with a deadline of a few hours, I would drop everything to apply. Those sessions were sooooo mentally draining. I remember when I got a final interview from a top 5 law firm and I spent a week practising for the interview despite having two essays due a week after. It goes without saying, it negatively affected my maximum potential in the essays. In hindsight, I could’ve spent one hour a day practising for the interview and I would’ve been fine and also had ample amount of time to do the essays.
Second year did teach me about being resilient in the face of rejection but, in third year, it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t necessarily that I couldn’t take it anymore but it was like: its actually alrighttttt now. In the summer before third year, I dedicated at least a month to make myself the best candidate and when applications re-opened, I thought that I was doing something different this time. Even though I did apply to less law firms and created schedules so I could have time in advance to make applications, I still found myself over-extending myself. Anyways, at one point in December 2021, after speaking to one of my law mentors, I ‘dropped the pen’ and decided that I wasn’t going to make another application and I haven’t gone back since, technically. In making multiple applications at the same time, I realised that I was not dedicating enough time to assess what it is I actually wanted. I always struggled to answer why I wanted to be a commercial lawyer and why I specifically wanted to apply to this firm. To me, all that mattered at that time was succeeding and the status quo. I didn’t take time to actually cultivate a passion in something. I do have specific passions such as trends in the Technology industry, but when it came to making cover letters, for example, I would just copy and paste the same technology paragraph for every firm and just change a few statistics to make it more suited to them. I wonder if any firm saw through that. lol.
You might be thinking, so how do you have these opportunities now?
So I had actually applied to the internship and grad job in October and November, I believe, and was offered an interview for both of them in December after I stopped making applications. I decided to go through with them because, with taking a break, I was able to focus on preparing for them. (Fortunately, the interview for the grad job was all the way in February). Moreover, the nature of the interviews meant that it did not disrupt time dedicated to completing 4 essays I had due at the time. I had also learnt from my organisational mistakes from second year.
It wont be easy taking that step to take a break. I was offered an interview like last week for another summer internship, but it was due on the same day as my final exam and I made the decision to not complete it. I did found this decision to be quite ‘painful’. I feel like when there‘s an opportunity to succeed at something, it‘s hard, in the moment, to access whether or not it’s good for us.
I feel like taking a break also comes with detaching from the harmful idea of what life should look like. I am not saying to not have goals but, to me, life is so unexpected that it would be ludicrous to pin-point every part of my journey and alter my life to it. I made the simultaneous decision to let go and just have faith. I work hard and I am resilient – what will be mine will find me. And it did :) !! What’s so crazy is that these application processes were the easiest ones I’ve had and it helped that my passion was real. It’s got to a point now where I have application PTSD and don’t see myself ‘picking the pen back up’ for the rest of 2022. Lol. However, this will not include things like volunteering/pro-bono, courses, soft life/once in a lifetime stuff, etc.
You don’t have to take a break but at least try to cut down your applications in a healthy way. Only you know what is exhausting you and only you have the power to change that.
Time isn’t running away!! I was thinking recently I am literally 21 (a baby!!) and I am always so fixated on getting my life together, career wise. Because of my internship and grad job, I don’t even think I have enough time for a ‘grad babe summer holiday’. I’m not complaining but I’ve just realised that there is literally no rush. Our 20s is a perfect time to make mistakes, start again, change our minds, not know what we are doing, etc, so give yourself that time to do it. That is the essence of living life. I was also saying to a friend that we watch rom coms and coming-of-age movies where 20-something-year-olds will go to New York with nothing but a bag and a jacket and I don’t see why the young people around me don’t romanticise life like that.
This is a bit of a detour but with my grad job, I would like to work in London (romanticised apartment life purr) but I moved out of London to Derby last year and I have no idea what I would do accommodation wise. Icl, I clicked the form and told God its up to Him now. And I don’t think I’ve ever been able to do that. I don’t know what’s going to happen but that’s okay. If my life has taught me anything, its that things will always work out.
I want you to understand that as cliché as it is, once you stop comparing yourself to other people, you will be able to let go of the idea of harmful goal posts and just focus on yourself and your journey.“This is late” -according to whom? “You should’ve done this” -according to WHOMMMM???? Regret is a horrible feeling and can lead people to doing very self-destructive things. Even if its hard to believe this, then at least understand that taking a break can also work in your favour. It allows you to clear your head, re-align your goals and start again. Taking a break also allowed me to take a step back and introspect this part of me. In this chapter, I realised that I did not just want to be a lawyer and I did not want my route to achieving this to be conventional. Like I said, I love technology and I have been looking for ways to and experiences that incorporate this. At the end of second year, I took part in a two-week legal internship at Accenture (tech company) and this is when this passion started. Moreover, I am someone who does not work to for one company/purpose for the rest of their life. I want to use my 20s to take part in multiple career experiences before settling down and I’ve achieved this: (my internship is in Law and my grad job is in Technology & Cyber).
I understand that some people go into a application frenzy because they have to constantly be in survival mode, but when you are always trying to survive in your academics too, it is only going to be a matter of time where you crash and burn COMPLETELY.
In conclusion, remember to always be kind to yourself. There is no point making an application if what the company will receive is an exhausted, broke down version of you. If you do take a break, it should also be authentic or it will all be for nothing.