So yeah the video covers most things, and I'm not going to give any advice on this blog as I want to make a separate one as many people have asked me for it.
However, I do want to quickly talk about faith because this is a good example of both how I used it but also how I didn't quite get it. Might sound like a juxtaposition but faith is in levels, and this situation has just reminded me that faith is an 'unending' journey and I need to actively embark on it.
With that being said, do not look at my situation as a reflection of God's capabilities or qualities but rather a reflection of where I am on this journey. My mentor said to me yesterday that my A levels is not the last time I am going to have to exert faith so it's something I need to work on in time for that situation.
On a real, right now, I feel very confused. Like I don't doubt who God is because He doesn't change regardless of what happens in my life, but it's kind of, kind of like ouch. Not ouch ouch, but like ouch. There is a talk I need to have with Him, well many talks actually, and I must understand that I cannot give up nor can I turn my back on Him. He loves me and wants that good expected end for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and this time, I just missed the key to fully experiencing that.
It's very easy for humans in my instance to no longer push the agenda of God's kingdom and stop serving Him, loathing in self pity, but the only person that will affect is me and why should I jeopardise the greater things He has in place for me? Whilst people are experiencing open heavens because of their unwavering diligence, shall I now be indulging in carnal self pity when it won't change anything and express ingratitude towards God?
With that being said, give thanks IN EVERYTHING. Thanksgiving is the kickstarter for everything good and if God can see that you can think Him in this, then He will bless you with more. My mum told me a scripture yesterday that helped me through the day and that is:
" 17Â Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, 18Â yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."
(Habakkuk 3:17-19)
So I will pick my feet up, dust myself off and keep on pushing on. I'm excited to get to that level with God and learn about Him more and more.